Showing posts with label Inspiration. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Inspiration. Show all posts

Friday, November 16, 2012

Hippie Chick's Heavenly Ride

Avoid clichés. Any freshman comp professor will tell you this is one of the cardinal rules of writing, and this was certainly true when I stood in front of a classroom. However, I cannot help but start this post with the following statement: “You can’t judge a book by its cover.”

I’ve met Loose Bruce on various occasions since embarking on this writing project. A self-proclaimed ‘crusty old biker,’ Bruce looks and dresses the part: his sun-tanned skin has the handsomely weathered look of a man who has logged thousands of miles on the open road, with windblown, pony-tailed hair never restrained by a helmet. One of the reasons Bruce migrated to South Carolina from Tampa, Florida was because there isn’t a helmet law here.

Clad in leather and denim, Loose Bruce is a quintessential outlaw biker. 

On the surface at least.  

Ask him about his wife, or his relationship with God, and that crusty façade crumbles – revealing an incredibly spiritual, sensitive and sage soul on a mission to reach others for Christ through his testimony and witness.
When I met Bruce, he was at Amber Island having some work done on a large skull piece on his stomach. Albeit an incredible work of art, what caught my attention was the tattoo located on his upper right chest. The piece depicts an urn cradled in the hollow of a dead tree and juxtaposed with these images of death are flower blossoms, a mushroom and the essence of smoke spiraling out from the top of the urn.
 
 

The tattoo is a memorial for Bruce’s wife Cynthia Marie Darty Harrison. She was killed in a tragic automobile accident in April 2011.

“That represents that with death you have life. Her spirit is going to Heaven via the smoke coming out of the urn. Then you have flowers and the mushroom growing out of the dead tree, see?,” Bruce explained. “That’s to represent the new life that comes with that death. That’s what that represents. And to me, in my way of thinking, she’ll ride with me you see? She’ll ride with me forever. Via that memorial.”

The way the story goes, Bruce came to Pickens County South Carolina, from Tampa Bay Florida, with a suitcase in one hand and a TV in the other. He landed a job in a local sawmill where he met a guy by the name of David.
David was a rough fellow, according to Bruce. Drunk. Since David didn’t have a car, Bruce offered to give him a lift home from work. There Bruce met Cindy, and the rest was history.

The way Bruce tells it, “his wife was my wife, only he didn’t know it yet. She was from Alabama and I was from Tampa and we met and fell in love in the Carolinas.”

When they first met, for Bruce, it was like love at first sight:  “She had them spandex bicycle shorts on, and I thought, man, who’s this foxy woman. Then she jumped over the table and punched her man David in the head for some infraction,” Bruce recalled.

“And I said ‘boy’ that’s my kind of woman. You know, back-up. Living the biker lifestyle you want your old lady to be able to back you up in case someone brings a chair over your back. You know?”



 
Cindy wasn’t as fond of Bruce. He says she couldn’t stand him, but his deep-seated sensitive soul eventually won her over.

On Christmas Eve the two went to see some light displays. Bruce looked at Cindy and said:” You know these lights are beautiful. But not as beautiful as you.” 

“That changed her way of thinking about me,” said Bruce. “And we got to know one another.” 

So another Christmas Eve rolled around and he said: “I don’t care if I have to whip your old man’s ass, I have to kiss you. I have to know. She kissed me and, boy, sparks flew. And the fella’s Dad was there that Christmas and he walked over and told his son – he says ‘that man right there is fixing to take your wife.’ Because he saw the connection."

Bruce grew up in an era where a man’s word was his bond. Cindy was a married woman, but eventually, her husband got in a bunch of trouble with the law. Busted for drugs. Cindy had three children, ages 5,6 and 7. After fate stepped in and removed Cindy’s husband, Bruce stepped up and made his move.

“I told her, well, Cindy, you know I love you. I’ll take the whole package. Kids and all,” he said. “So we moved in together. I was born in a time when your kids are your kids regardless. They were my children and we raised them the best we could.”

Bruce and Cindy Harrington were married for seventeen years.

There are times when I feel disadvantaged as a writer because I cannot capture in words, try as I might, the emotion an individual displays when they are talking about someone they love. The hint of tears in his eyes, coupled with raw warmth of his voice, overwhelmed me with the infinite love Bruce continues to feel at the very mention of his 
wife’s name.

Listening to him talk was like watching Love Story, Out of Africa or countless other versions of Hollywood love stories – only this story is true, and while it might not have been without flaw, it was genuine and tangible. I couldn’t help but feel tears well up in my own eyes and say a silent prayer that somehow, some day, someone would – could love me like that.

 
“We had our ups and downs, but every couple does. She knew what I was thinking before I’d say it. And she loved to ride – just like I did. Her motor-cycle name was Hippie Chick. She always wore fancy flowered shirts and beads,” said Bruce. “We’d ride around. We’d go to the flea market. We’d come back and you couldn’t see the bike for all the stuff. And she was back there. My passion. My soul mate. She was special.”

And in an instant, like a snap of the fingers, Bruce’s life was forever changed in April 2011.

Bruce, Cindy and friends of theirs were at a bike show. Everyone had been drinking. 

“We had a little argument about this, that and the other, and I said I’m going home. She said well I’m going with Steve [one of their friends and neighbor]. I went home and went to bed. I didn’t think nothing about it. Sleep it off you know,” said Bruce. “Policeman woke me up and told me she was dead. I didn’t believe it. He just kind of threw her rings on the kitchen table. I balled my eyes out. I cried. I asked God why. Then I loaded a gun and was fixing to go kill him.”

As he walked out into the sunlight of his front yard, Bruce, loaded rifle in hand, heard a voice. 

“It said, ‘Son, go put that rifle up. I’ve got things for you to do.’ And it didn’t come from my mind; it came from my heart. I went and hung it up. I walked back out into the yard and I fell to my knees. And I prayed for God’s help,” Bruce recalled.” He sent one of the brothers from my church over to my house the next morning. I come out looking like 30 miles of bad road – hung over. Hurting. In pain. The woman I loved dearly is gone now.”

Billy hugged Bruce and told him God loved him. Invited him to church that Sunday. Bruce hasn’t missed a Sunday service since.  

“Soon as I walked in that door, God was like – ‘Son. I got this,’ he said. “I get a little teary over it still. I know in my heart that it’s going to be alright. I miss her. I’ve got a lot of fond memories. The rose that’s tattooed there [and Bruce points toward his right upper arm] was on the back of her vest. Very same rose. She’s still riding with me.”
Bruce believes he has touched a lot of people with his story. I don’t doubt it. His story certainly spoke volumes to my heart.

“This has changed my whole life. I think of myself as a child of God. The way I used to think – I’d cut your throat in a minute. Screw with me and we’re gonna fight,” Bruce chuckled. “But now I think Lord help them, see, they know not why they do it. God has called me to witness to folks. To tell them what He has done in my life.”

“They look at a cat like me, and when they first see me, they think Good Lord! Outlaw biker. But they feel that presence when I’m there. That joy. They see the joy in my heart and want to see where I’m getting it. See that’s what God wants me to do. I like to hear myself talk. So I might as well talk about God.”

Bruce affectionately refers to himself as a crusty old biker, and in many ways he is. The label suits him. 

It would be easy to look at the leathered, crusty Harley exterior and make any number of stereotypical assumptions about the soul housed in the interior. I’m not a gambler, but I would be willing to bet that the majority of those would be misconceptions. 

Loose Bruce exemplifies the notion that one cannot judge a book by its cover.  As the Hippie Chick who loved him learned, sometimes you’ve got to take a leap of faith and hold tight for the ride. 

Friday, June 22, 2012

Needing Reminders

Looking back on my thirty-five years of life, there is not one day I can recall when my Mom has neglected to tell me that she loves me. I’ve often wondered if this has spoiled me in my adult life and relationships. There are certain people in my life who I know, without a doubt, love me, but it is certainly nice to have that loved affirmed.

People with whom I’ve been in relationships have made me feel “needy” for wanting this, and I have allowed certain people to make me feel like I was weak or insecure simply because I enjoy being told I am loved or wanted, needed or desired. Wanting and craving affirmations doesn’t make me or anyone else weak – it makes me human. It makes me Nicole, and from this day forward I refuse to feel poorly about myself because hearing someone say he loves me or desires me is important to me!

There was a recent special about Demi Lovato (I know her only because Em and Ella watch Disney Channel. Not that there would be anything wrong with owning her CD ;) on MTV. On her inner wrists (palm side of the hand) from left to write, are tattoos reading “Stay Strong.”
The only difference between Lovato and Lance Armstrong’s “Live Strong” campaign is that her reminder is permanently etched into her skin as opposed to imprinted on a removable yellow rubber bracelet.

Thinking about writing this entry, I couldn’t help but replay the SNL “Daily Affirmations with Stuart Smalley” skit where the character, developed and played by Al Franken, ended each ‘episode’ with a look in the mirror and the mantra ‘I’m good enough. I’m smart enough. And doggone it: people like me!”
As I have the opportunity to meet and talk with more and more people, I have noted a common theme or trend: many people get tattoos as affirmations or reminders of one kind or another, which leads me to the conclusion that I am not the only person out there who needs to be reminded that I am loved, or that I am good enough, or to have faith, think positively, and be happy.

When I was a chubby kid struggling through gymnastics class because I didn’t possess the same level of athleticism as the other girls and because I carried a heftier weight on my frame, my coach took me aside one day and said there are always going to be people who are better at this than you, and there are going to be people who are worse. There are going to be people who are chubbier and people who are thinner; people who are faster and people who are slower. You simply need to be the best you you can be.
This is true when it comes to optimism and positive thinking. There are some people (for a varying degree of reasons including childhood experiences, chemical make-up of the brain, etc.) who have an easier time being happy than others. Some people struggle, while for others, genuine happiness is as natural as having brown eyes or long legs. People are different and that is what makes the world amazing.

Some of us need more reminding, more affirmation than others, and there is nothing wrong with this.
Tracey, one of the women I’ve had the pleasure of interviewing, has a tattoo on her right upper, inner arm that reads “Hold on to your happy.” For her, this serves as a reminder to stay bright and positive even when life might be throwing things at her that make happiness a struggle.

Tattooed on my left wrist are a flower and the word Believe. This serves as a reminder to hold on to my belief in God – to believe in myself – to believe in miracles and that anything is possible. Some days I need to be reminded of that more than others.
During the period of my life and career when I worked as a counselor at both a domestic violence shelter and later at a substance abuse facility, I always decorated my office space with inspirational (affirmation) quotes. Many of my clients needed constant reminding that they were going to make it, that they had the inner strength to endure their current circumstances, warm-fuzzies and the knowledge that someone was in their corner believing in them even when they found it difficult to believe in themselves.

Some of the framed favorites that decorated the walls of my various office spaces included:
  • “The best way out is always through.”
  • “Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it because a beautiful butterfly.”
  • “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”
  • “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”
  • "Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.”
  • "Faith makes things possible, not easy."
It would be difficult to carry these framed pieces of inspiration, motivation, affirmation, around with me everywhere we go (although my choice of purses are usually large enough to accommodate a kitchen sink).

Tattoos are the perfect way to take those reminders of hope or inspiration with us everywhere we go. And there is nothing wrong with needing reminders that we are unique, loved, strong, or filled with faith.
One of the things I am enjoying so much about this project – aside from seeing amazing art and meeting interesting people – is the fact that no matter how different each of us might be, we are all connected by our humanity. Our experiences might be different, but we can relate to one another on some many universal levels when it comes to love and self-acceptance.

Again, I am so thankful to those of you who have been so willing to share your stories with me.