Whitney's Sunflowers

When I walked into Moto’s room at the tattoo shop to meet Whitney, I was overcome by a sensation of utter peacefulness.

With the exception of her left arm and shoulder, where Moto was working on a beautiful tangle of earthy sunflowers with interwoven strips of film, Whitney was wrapped up in a zebra print Snuggy, head back, eyes closed, relaxing into each deep and purposeful breath.

She looked so comfy and cozy, in such a state of meditative bliss that I hated to interview her. I didn’t want to disrupt her peace and focus with a barrage of questions that would require her to think and talk and interact instead of finding comfort in that very moment while being tattooed.

I certainly plan on doing my own research throughout this process because I am curious and inquisitive; I love research and learning; and, I am proud to say, I am just a geek like that. I imagine there are all sorts of psychological research studies that deal with the physiology of tattoos and how tattoos affect the pain and pleasure centers in the brain, but this will be another blog. Note to self.

Whitney’s serenity immediately made her interesting – as did the sunflowers searching for sunlight along her upper arm and shoulder area. It is only natural that the first question I ask relates to the sunflowers and their significance to her; it goes without saying that she could have chosen from any wide variety of flowers that decorate our planet, but Whitney wanted sunflowers. A woman after my own heart.

“I knew I wanted sunflowers because they are my favorite flowers. They have so much inspiration. They are happy and I always loved how they follow the sun,” she said. “And I liked the fact that the gold wasn’t too different from my skin color.”

As we continued to talk, Whitney made a statement I have thought many times myself: “Sometimes it’s easy to forget to be happy.”

I’m not sure that this is true for everyone. There are some people who seem to be happy the majority of the time.

Optimists who always see a half-full glass and approach the world with an unyielding positivity. I have always envied people like this, because I have spent so much of my life looking at the worst case scenario. Since college (and really before then if I think about it), I have battled depression and anxiety issues that make it challenging for me to be the bubbling fountain of positivity I wanted to be. Being optimistic is something I have had to practice. Something I still practice. There are days when I struggle, but I have made so much progress.

I’ve heard Moto say several times now – the longer you don’t quit, the better you get. This is true with anything in life. Training the mind to perceive situations in a more positive manner is no different.

Whitney is an artist. She works in a salon and creates hair styles. Any profession that finds you sitting behind or across from someone in your chair immediately thrusts you into the role of counselor and confidant. Every time I get my hair cut and colored, I walk away feeling like I have also had a therapy session.

Remembering to be happy can be difficult, Whitney confided, especially if and when she has clients who are going through things or personal issues. This statement speaks volumes about how much she cares about people and what they might be coping with at any given moment. She is sensitive and compassionate, which, I think to myself (like me), makes her somewhat vulnerable. The unique ability to both sympathize and empathize are amazing character attributes; they also open the human heart wide, and can make one subject to feeling another’s pain or sadness.

Sunflowers, bright, strong and confident are open wide to the light and warmth of the sunshine, much like Whitney opens her mind and heart allowing other people to share their stories. Having them tattooed on her shoulder is a consistent reminder, she says, “of a little something you can look at to make you smile.”

Whitney told me that throughout her own personal journey, she has learned to talk more.

“Growing up I didn’t share myself with people. I didn’t know how to express emotions. And I still struggle as an adult, but I can express myself now. I’m in the best relationship I’ve ever had. And it works – not only because he’s great and perfect for me, but he’s that person that I know I can talk to. The good, the bad, whatever – he’s there – and I can just lay it all out. And being able to do that is the only way it helps.”

Like the sunflowers on her shoulder, I cannot help but make the analogy that Whitney continues to blossom and open in her own life.

In her state of serenity, I hated the idea of bombarding Whitney with questions. Naturally, I wondered why she didn’t share herself or her emotions much growing up. Why it was a struggle. My hope is to recommend with her to ask these questions, as I am doing my diligence to not analyze people (though the counselor in me makes that difficult).

The juxtaposition of the filmstrip – something man-made thus a drastic difference compared to the natural growth and development of sunflowers – literally captures talent, creativity, moments of raw and genuine emotion in each frame – compelled me to ask the questions what and why?

“The film strip. That we’ll do later. The base is already there. It’s because I love movies. It’s always something I wanted,” Whitney said. “Growing up, we didn’t really watch cable. We watched movies all the time. And that was always special. So I thought to incorporate that, but also make it more personal if I put things that kind of describe the person I am in the film strip slots.”

I would be remiss not to ask Whitney what her plans for the filmstrip slots were. “I have a lot of ideas. Definitely something to do with music. I have a huge passion to hear it, play it, watch it, everything. Something to do with hair. And then I have several other ideas – maybe a cross or something to represent my upbringing. Who knows? I don’t want to make any hasty decisions.”

Whitney’s tattoo is a beautiful work in progress. My hope, of course, is that she will allow me to follow her on her journey as she and Moto develop pieces for the filmstrip and continue to work on the piece as a whole.

I typically have a difficult time leaving “things” incomplete. As I continue through this journey, I am reminded that, like everything else in my life, this project, this blog, my dream of creating a complete and publishable book are works in progress. Our personal journeys and stories, I suspect, are never fully complete. As we grow and evolve, so do all of the moments of meaning in our lives.

This is only the beginning of Whitney’s story. Of this, I am positive. Again, my hope is that she will continue to share her story with me as it develops. 

Blessed and Thankful

My mind, body and soul have been flooded with thoughts and emotions pinging, zigzagging, and ricocheting off of one another such that I feel like the Pin Ball Wizard.

Those of you who continue to follow me on this journey will come to know that I am a devoutly spiritual and faithful person. While I sometimes find myself bogged down by self-doubt or anxiety, like a cat that always lands on its feet, I find my focus and press forward toward whatever goal I have set on my horizon.

Hand in hand with my passion for writing (mentioned in an earlier blog post) has always been a love for reading. I have an insatiable appetite when it comes to written words – devouring books like a starved man in desperate need for nourishment.

Believing that everything in life happens for a reason, at the perfect time, applies to books as well. I have purchased books, brought them home with every intention of diving into the pages, only to be distracted by one thing or another. That book might sit on my nightstand for a week, six months, maybe even a year, before some current inside starts to stir and the next thing I know, I’m sitting with that book in hand.

The Alchemist, by Paulo Coelho, is one example of being drawn to the exact book, the precise words, the spiritual nourishment I needed at the perfect time. It accompanied me to the mammogram and needle biopsy that diagnosed my mom’s breast cancer last May. And while I was unable to focus on reading at the time, it was in my bag while I impatiently waited for her surgeon to deliver a report after the lumpectomy.

So many thoughts and ideas in The Alchemist resonated with me at that time, making such an impact that it has become one of those books that I read over and over again. The pages have been marked with my own questions and notations – multiple passages emphatically underlined in pencil:     

“Because there is a force that wants you to realize your Personal Legend; it whets your appetite with a taste of success.”

“In order to find the treasure, you will have to follow the omens. God has prepared a path for everyone to follow. You just have to read the omens that he left for you.”

“But the sheep had taught him something even more important: that there was a language in the world that everyone understood, a language the boy had used throughout the time that he was trying to improve things at the shop. It was the language of enthusiasm, of things accomplished with love and purpose, and as part of a search for something believed in and desired.”

“When you want something, all the universe conspires to help you achieve it.”

“When someone makes a decision, he is really diving into a strong current that will carry him to places he had never dreamed of when he first made the decision.”

Making the decision to start the Soul to Skin Project has already started to carry me places I never imagined. With every fiber of my being, I believe this is what I am supposed to be doing at this precise moment in my life.

Like everything else I do, I am approaching this with unbridled enthusiasm, passion, love and purpose. Writing a book has been my dream since I was a child. Over the years I have come up with a million excuses for why I couldn’t do it. I didn’t have time. I wasn’t a good enough writer. People wouldn’t be interested in what I had to say.

I have come to the point in my personal and professional life when I am choosing to abandon my fears and doubts in order to pursue the dream that has always been inside of me. As I sit and write this I am awestruck by the surrealism of this very moment, everything leading up to it and the endless possibilities awaiting me in the future.

Thank you to everyone who has looked at the Soul to Skin Project blog, who have read the posts, who have ‘Liked’ the Soul to Skin Project page on Facebook. The outpouring of support, encouragement and love is truly humbling and amazing. I sincerely hope you will continue to follow this project, that you will share your thoughts and comments, continued support and encouragement.

Every morning that I wake up, I thank God for the blessings in my life. When I looked at the page views for the blog and had an email inbox full of Facebook ‘Likes’ and comments on the Soul to Skin Project, I was overwhelmed with feelings of positivity and possibility and immense love.

Today I feel especially blessed and incredibly thankful, and I would like to say thank you to everyone out there who has filled my soul with love, blessings, support and encouragement. None of this would be possible if all of you didn’t collectively care about this too. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

Beginnings...

It is amazing how things in the universe come together when the timing is right.

I have wanted to be a writer for as long as I can remember. I started working on my first mystery novel in 3^rd grade. I think I managed to write two or three chapters before I was easily sidetracked by something else; I was only eight after all.

I’ve had other starts and stops between then and now, but in all this time, my desire to write has never dissipated despite being put on the back burner for a variety of reasons like graduate school, child bearing, bill paying … you know how it goes.

Today has been a pivotal day. Today is the day I begin my journey toward the actual writing and completion of a book.

I am both amazed and overwhelmed by the possibilities.

One morning not too long ago, I woke up with the idea about writing a book that focuses on the stories behind people’s tattoos. I let it mull around in my mind and decided that this is a journey I need to take – that I want to take.

My working plan, which I assume will evolve along with the process, is to interview anyone and everyone interested in sharing the story or meaning behind their tattoos. It is as simple as that. They talk. I listen. I record the interview. I write it out. I edit it. I take photographs. Then, at some point, I take all of these amazing stories and incredible art work and I craft them into a book. This is my ultimate goal.

People and words are my professional passions. I’ve had careers in teaching (English) and counseling. My most recent “profession” has been newspaper reporting and being a full-time, hands-on Mom 99.9% of the time. Writing, for me, has been the perfect marriage of things I love.

Growing up in Miami, Florida laid the foundation for what I think is an inclusive perspective when it comes to people and the world around me. I think people should be celebrated for their differences and those things that make them special and unique.

Each of us has a story to tell. Truth be told, we have more than one. As a reporter, and when I worked as a counselor, I love listening to people’s stories – where they’ve been, what they’ve done, how they’ve gotten from Point A to Point B and the journey in between.

For the last two years, I have been working as a reporter for the Pickens County Courier based in Pickens, SC. My regular beat finds me covering local government and school board meetings, but some of my favorite pieces and assignments are the human interest stories.

My editor has always given me a lot of latitude when working on our features section. In June of 2011, I came up with the idea of spending time at Amber Island, talking with the tattoo artists and some of the clients coming in to have tattoos done. The culmination of work wound up with a Lifestyles Page cover story and art work which, to this day, remains one of my favorite pieces.

Tattoos have fascinated me since I was a teenager – about 15 to be exact. That is the year that I will forever mark in my mind as my year of rebellion against the norm. I started listening to The Doors, Pink Floyd and Jimi Hendrix. I read J.D. Salinger’s The Catcher in the Rye, Zora Neal Hurston’s Their Eyes Were Watching God and Jack Kerouac’s On the Road. I started to lose the weight that had made me a social outcast and scapegoat for insecure bullies.

Without knowing it, or being consciously aware, I began a long journey toward acceptance of myself for being different: for not having a Dad in my life, for not being the perfect size two, for not being terribly athletic, artistic or the class valedictorian. 

The day I turned 18, my friend Jimmy, (who was in his 20s) bought me a bottle of Absolut Vodka. I mixed it with Diet Coke and lime – had a couple of drinks – and decided I was ready to go get the tattoo I had been wanted for the last three years and knowing, full-well, that my straight-laced, conservative mother was going to flip!

Since that time I have acquired more tattoos – each of which marks a milestone in my life or, for me, is a remembrance of some moment when I learned something about myself, who I am, who I want to be. If anyone asked, I have a story that accompanies each piece of art work on my body.

I can’t begin to fathom – well, obviously I can since I’ve had this idea – the number of stories out there begging to be told.

Fortunately, as I have gotten my own tattoos, I have developed a friendship of sorts with two amazing tattoo artists at Amber Island in Easley – Moto and Jesse. As soon as I discovered this idea rattling around in my brain, I ran it by Moto. Amber Island is his shop, and I hoped that he would embraced my idea – the way he has embraced our friendship – and that he would allow me the opportunity to try to make a go of this project using the client base from his studio.

He dug the idea. As did Jesse. I totally adore those guys and I can already tell I am going to be thanking them immensely for this opportunity to allow me to grow as a writer and human being. I can feel the love and support already – just in these beginning stages. This is going to be a most excellent journey.

Anyway, I stopped by the shop today with the initial paperwork and project scope and explanation I put together. My idea was well received and, I think, as they say, we are in business. I have my first interview scheduled for this Friday.

I will be as diligent about updating this blog as possible. Please check back often. Feel free to comment, share a story, offer suggestions, and lend your support and enthusiasm. I am wide open and ready to receive everything that the universe wants to throw my way.

I’m ready for a new beginning. Bring it on!