Checking In

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”

I have been the living embodiment of this idea for the last seven months.

In December, my husband of seven years announced that he was unhappy and leaving. However, because of finical reasons, convenience and children, he didn’t physically leave until the beginning of April. Looking back, emotionally and soulfully, we parted ways long before December.

I have been ok with his leaving. Honestly. The greatest difficult has been watching my girls try to wrap their seven and eight year old heads around adult issues; extra responsibilities around the house (yard and pool maintenance); and getting all of my financial messes cleaned up and moving in the right direction.

As for the marriage, I hate to sound negative, but remained curled up in the bud state, unable to grow and blossom, was infinitely more difficult than the decision to go it alone – to blossom as Nicole. There is a an amazing feeling of freedom in being able to be myself without censorship or apology.

Where am I going with all of this? My Soul to Skin Project seemed to take off and converge in the midst of a million things going on in my life. School let out for the summer, and instead of camp this year, Em and Ella have been home with me full time. Time with them is fantastic, but it leaves little opportunity for me to sit and focus on my writing. In addition, I have a full-part time job with the newspaper that occupies a significant amount of my time. Prior to beginning this project, I also promised to help co-author another book with a very dear friend.

While this was never part of my plan, I confess I have fallen in love with the most amazing man I have ever met. Navigating these waters has been blissfully frightening.

My tendency has always been to take on many projects at the same time, and somehow I manage to accomplish everything I set out to do (because I am driven, ambitious, tenacious, and perfectionist) no matter how long it might take me to get it done.

Here is where I am going with this: I am asking for your patience. My passion for this project has in no way dwindled. My mind has simply been focused on many things simultaneously. Each and every person I have had the pleasure of speaking with, I assure you, will have his and her stories told. And I know there are more people out there with whom I cannot wait to connect.

Don’t lose faith in me or this project. Keep checking back. Contact me to schedule a time to talk and interview. Like me, this project is a work in progress. Because it is mine, I do not have any definitive deadlines. I am enjoying the process of meeting people, talking with them, transcribing our interviews, writing up their stories and sharing them with the world. If we haven’t yet met or spoken, I hope you will allow me the privilege of hearing and sharing your story or stories.

I have recently gotten over a few personal hurtles that will allow me more time for this project … the freedom to continue to grow and blossom. I invite you and hope you will remain on this journey with me.